If you stay together, he’ll be 64 and retired while you’re still a relatively young 50 and working. An age difference is just one factor to consider. That's what downvotes are for. It's creepy that he's not creeped out by it. Definitely research grooming behavior and identify if he's acting that way with you. [–]39UL 00Answer Link-1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago (0 children). This includes but isn't limited to racial, homophobic, and misogynistic insults and slurs. I am finding out that many men my age are not interested in women 30 and up. However, age isnât necessarily an indicator of what a person wants; for every 25-year-old who wants children, thereâs a 45-year-old who doesnât. (By the way, we both look younger than we actually are). You're going to get a lot of people telling you yes, it's way too big of an age difference and that it's creepy, but I have a hard time looking at it like that. it's way too big of an age difference and that it's creepy, but I have a hard time looking at it like that. So, you could manipulated and coerced more easily. I wish you both all the happiness that the both of you can make of ! For rule-related involvement (relationships), 60-year-old men are stating that the minimum acceptable age is around 40, which does map much more closely to the ruleâs predictions. If either if the partners were under 30 then yes I would say it was far too much. Also, he’ll likely be past his “prime” sexually when you are right in the middle of yours... I’m a 10 year guy, any more age difference than that makes things difficult. You speak as if your life experience makes you better, but you are acting small. It does make the relationship difficult sometimes as you are at different points in your life. You might not feel the same later, or maybe you will. 19 20 21. JOIN. Do report posts you see which break the rules. [–]Throwawaychatter4444 00Answer Link-1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago (0 children). Lol yes. Luckily, most weren't toxic, or overly unhealthy, but in most cases, the dynamic simply wasn't it. Go for it, what have you to loose. I think our age difference would have been problematic when I was in my 70âs, but she left in for a man with a 14 year age difference less physically fit then me. Make sure it's right for you on a deeper, personally repectful level. Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average "ideal" age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults. That age gap coupled with him having been your boss is a huge red flag. [–]D_Nicole91Late 20s Female 10Answer Link0 points1 point2 points 5 days ago (0 children). Edit: don't overthink the whole intellectual level stuff people are giving you. Offer helpful feedback and advice based on the commenter's question. Is 14 years difference too much. I would be concerned. Very immature behavior, and quite insecure as well. So, just how big is too big of an age difference? By the time you retire at 64 he’ll be 78. Otherwise, go for it, baby. No way, its true that age doesnt matter, me and my partner have a 27 year age gap- Im keeping him young while i get to learn new things. Did this answer your question? My (23M) girlfriend (19F) refuses to make our relationship public and doesn’t want to let her ex boyfriend know. Tell me, why a grown ass man would be with a teen?? If not, then. I am also a teacher, though just in my first year. The younger person never understands how others can call a age gap relationship where the younger person is <25 "creepy" until their a bit older too. I was very very worried about the 13 year age difference when we first got together, so was he. Anyways I wish you two good luck. Why would you get into a relationship knowing that beforehand? By the way, while I've not yet enjoyed a relationship with anyone much older than myself, I have enjoyed good friendships (and more) with men younger than myself. no I think that is fine enjoy your new relationship! It's honestly really creepy that he's coming on to you to begin with. Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to ⦠Going through a divorce, wife wants me to pay for a new bathroom. You guys are awesome!! How much of an age difference is too much? If you think the reason might not be obvious, feel free to add your reasoning as to why. Good advice from someone who's been there, as well as, TO younger women contemplating an older male relationship. 2010-04-07 20:02:14 Yes. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29, we have been together for a year but my parents do not like us being together and have even threatened to disown me, even though my boyfriend is a perfectly respectable man. He can be young at heart but that doesn't mean he should actually be dating young people. No Contact. Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? Jessica Conars July 17, 2013 at 6:30 pm - Reply I donât think that there should be a problem if two people are in love. Obviously, it doesn't really matter, and i'd date someone 5 years older than me as well. I[M26] always thought I was straight, but my roommate[M24] and I have started having sex and living like romantic partners. My(17F) brother(20M) asked my boyfriend(18M) how having sex with me felt like. He is basically an almost perfect guy for me, into the same things and he is quite young at heart, but the age gap does bother me slightly, should it? [–]JH1515 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (1 child). He can't have a 30yo girlfriend? [–]JH1515 20Answer Link1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (22 children). I continued to find myself smitten, gushing to my mom about him, telling her that 13 years wasnât that big of an age difference because we got along so well and it just didnât matter. Do you think “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true? She quit her job so they could move so for live collected less social security and started at 62. Rendered by PID 13904 on r2-app-0bbf0e4ebcde9560e at 2020-12-28 00:01:53.707827+00:00 running 6abf2be country code: NL. I want my partner to be just that... a partner. I had a great time, I did what I wanted and I did not listen to what strangers had to say about what I should and should not do. I have previously dated people older than me, when I was 15 I had a bf who was 21 (long story short, but we met online and I lied about my age, so he thought I was older otherwise we would not even be talking). My ex (22m) told my abusive parents where I (20f) live. If you're thinking of posting something that would be a Moral Judgment post as written out in rule II.4, try, DAE - "Does Anyone Else?" At what point does the age difference become scandalous? I was 19 and my husband 22 when we became parents. After that we went back to full time education including grad school, which was difficult with a child, but we managed to complete it. Yeah the difference between 19 and 24 is huge in terms of maturity. There’s so much life experience that occurs during those years. Name calling, insults, or insensitive language (details), regardless of who started it. Top Answer. :D. At 46 and 60, the difference in age in negligible, except for the point Randy makes. but it can work for the two of you. [–]JH1515 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (16 children). But communication is key, and there's nothing wrong with expressing your concerns as the last thing you want is to wind up in a relationship you're uncomfortable with. If you have children when you’re 25 he’ll be 39, when that child starts kindergarten you’ll be 31 and he’ll be 45, when that child starts driving he’ll be 55, at graduation he’ll be 57/58. 3 years ago. But again, you felt the need to reach out and attempt to make someone feel bad. !! But someone 14 years older... idk, probably not till I'm older :D, [–]sudofck 00Answer Link-1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago* (0 children). Cut-and-dry comment issues will generally result in an indefinite ban. [–]nmb28 10Answer Link0 points1 point2 points 5 days ago (0 children). -Bill (South Carolina) Dr. Wendy Walshâs Answer: Nope. Ages (13+, though teens can always visit TRA). ". Women his age probably think he's immature and a bullshitter so that's why he is going for someone younger who won't check him. Look for somebody closer to your own age. I know my situation is rare, but he's my person. If you "gel" go with it. [–]JH1515 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (14 children). [–]southerngirlupnorthTeens Female 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (2 children). Sane... or Psycho? [–]Daymjo 00Answer Link-1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago (0 children). My parents have a ten year age difference and they are still together and in love. Letâs take for example the age gap between someone born on April 17 1990 and someone born on August 29 1994. or "Have You Ever? Your average 30 year old wants nothing to do with a relationship with someone your age because you guys can never be on the same level of maturity. ". General discussion topics such as requests for stories, polls, general questions, etc. But its legal so if you really think its worth it then go for it. The result is: The age difference between the two persons is 4 years, 4 months, 12 days. I've always liked older men, 14 years was nothing to me. within 2 days, meaning 48 hours, of a post) must instead be edited into the original request post. You have all been terrific with your great comments and good advice. Dead Bedrooms Ex? Lately I sense a growing chemistry between us and I sense he may want something more than platonic friendship. 241 Members. I'm sorry people on here are assholes to you if you love your bf then I say go for it my parents have a 10yr age difference between them and got together when my mom was 20 and my dad was 30 and they are still together and in love. Why is that? Again, the only one who has any right commenting on my relationship is me and my bf. when we get our age i really dont think it matters unless your trying for a man around your sons age. Throw out the obvious examples as outliers. I never advocate for more than 5 years. Each relationship is different. Email. Apart from various medical conditions (e.g. It's more a connection intellectually, emotionally, physically... if you let age be a determining factor, you really limit yourself (like those "old guys" with money who are looking for the "younger women"). The theory is that this is due to the vast gulf in life stages among the former group. Best wishes in your relationship! No, it's not too much of an age gap. When the child is out of the house and you’d have the freedom to travel or whatever after almost two decades of raising a child he’ll be almost 60. Request specific details if you believe they'll help you present helpful advice. Cats live for 10-14 years. Example of an age difference calculation. Not saying he would it's just a possibility. Others may be more aware of the age difference but it doesnât mean they canât make their relationships work, as long as there is love and respect. Forget about it. It's only a number. your both grown responsible adults, whats the difference? It is kind of a pain that we can't do the things I would like to do in my retirement. My dad was 15 years older than my mom. ..he just was. is a 14 year age difference too much of an age gap? #14. You are an adult... Do what makes you happy! He will tell you what the right choice is and you being young, naive and seemingly in love will always listen to him. Also, is it creepy that he is in to me? Most of my friends, myself included, had flings etc. Major red flag. my advise tread lightly. Wiki User Answered . Asked by Wiki User. I've had a guy who was pretty dumb, but in the end of the day it did not matter because what mattered more was how he made me feel. Sussman, however, also said there is such a thing as too much of an age difference. I think you should pay attention if he starts acting like you should follow his lead and tells you what to do. I think you're gonna get alot of people judging your relationship and telling g you that you shouldn't be with him but that's something for you to decide. this is too large of a difference. We have different realities, obviously, but it is completely unnecessary to bring on the pessimistic views that you carry to someone else just because they are content and positive about their relationship. Shutterstock. I'm 29 (almost 30) and the idea of talking to someone 25 feels weird, let alone any younger. Research has found that the age gap between a 20-year-old and a 40-year-old can cause more issues than the gap between, say, a 50-year-old and a 70-year-old. hormonal), this may come as a result of age and stress felt to provide a sibling for their first child. In time to come, you might be thinking, What If. I have another queation: He mentioned me coming to see him but he lives quite far away (about a good day's drive). It’s just my gut reaction. Posting issues will generally result in a post removal unless an equivalent comment rule is also tripped. The Difference Between Being in Love and Loving Someone. If anyone is immature in this situation, it appears to be you. AskMenOver30 AskWomenOver30 BUT, ed shank makes a counterpoint that is equally true.My personal opinion is to take the next step and see what happens. Depends on the age of the people involved. I see people age 60 who are alive and vibrant, and 45 year olds that are lazy, boring, and just don't care about anything. with older people when we were young. Please report them. If the other women he dated were more similar in age to him and this is an isolated thing I could give him the benefit of the doubt but if he's dated other much younger women before you then that would be a red flag to me. It is going to be almost 15 yers age difference. E.g 40 and 55 is fine, 25 and 35 is fine. [–]sarah__allie -20Answer Link-3 points-2 points-1 points 5 days ago (1 child). OF COURSE he's into you, you're a young woman. © 2020 reddit inc. All rights reserved. [–]Schnauzerbutt 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (0 children). Looking back, Travis says, âI think our cultural differences have been a bigger challenge than the age difference. I'm a 46 year old woman and have developed a friend ship with a man who just turned 60. If you're thinking of trying to salvage your relationship after your SO cheats, don't. As for how to break it to him, you can be nice and lie and say you are simply not interested in him, or you can be honest and say the age gap bothers you. [–]JH1515 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (18 children). I do think it’s concerning he can’t find someone his age or at least closer to his age. My grandparents for example were 7 years apart. Long Distance OkCupid Go ahead and enjoy your happy relationship. [–]foomsboi999 10Answer Link0 points1 point2 points 5 days ago (0 children). If it is too much for me, how do I let him know that nicely, but still maintain a good/friends relationship with him since he is still a good connection to have (career wise since he is sorta my ex boss). But God brought us together, and He has sustained us.â My friend may have been right when she said, âAge is just a number.â God is a lot bigger than that. He is not your equal. Becaues girls his age don't want him! I have a 3yr age difference with my bf and I met one guy who started freaking out when he found that out and it was just the dumbest thing ever. You are not signing a marriage contract, you are just developing the friendship at this point. Me (F19) him (M33). For example, in some African countries about 30% of unions reflect a large age gap. No honey, age is nothing but a number. Sex We Met Online [–]southerngirlupnorthTeens Female 0 points1 point2 points 5 days ago (0 children). The reason is young people by no fault of their own are very naive. Well, for about a month it's an 11 year age difference but that's besides the point. But if theyre under age just be careful. Personally, I think it’s creepy. I ask this for myself. Answered . Is a 20 year age difference bad. At 19, you barely graduated high school and he’s already been to his 10 year HS anniversary. No offence to you, and I’m sure he claims otherwise but what is it you have to offer on an intellectual level to this man almost double your age? Good luck! People on the internet are just mean and super judgy. If your relationship is meant to be is only something you gonna learn over time...and 1 year really is a too short amount of time to call yourself an "exception". The gap is kinda large but it's definitely not creepy that he's into you. /u/underthesea77 — This account will fail! At 23 i dated someone who was 52, at 24 someone who was 38. If you feel comfortable, safe, and secure in your relationship then by all means go ahead with it. You change so much in those first 5 years because you're discovering who you are as an adult, it's kind of like you're an apprentice grown up. Is an age difference of 14 years too much? We have great phone conversations and I really enjoy talking to him.We live far away from each other so conversations are by phone. And we had a lot of fun togeither. She couldn't keep up with him. Suicide Watch. Yes, if you're a cat. Today I am 26 and my spouse is 26, and thats the guy I will marry. My current wife is 14 years younger, and the only problem we have encountered so far is, I have retired but she has to keep working to make ends meet. seeking advice for what to do next instead. In some non-Western countries, the average age gap is much larger than in Western countries. But if you start to feel uncomfortable just break up with him and move on life is about making mistakes and you're young so you should be able to and dont let people judge you or your choices. I don't think it's a good idea if you plan on a long relationship, men age quicker than woman and you will be caring for an old man down the road, just do some long thinking before leaping. " [–]edith-bunker 20Answer Link1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (0 children), [–]Schnauzerbutt 20Answer Link1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago (0 children). Your philosophy on love does not resemble the same thoughts of every person, so why spread your negative thoughts around when you see people happy? Suggestions for violence or suicide, even as a joke. TL;DR if your post is longer than 250ish words (about a half page). Our daughter is 14 and we are expecting a baby this year. Is a 12 year age difference too much? He said he would send me a bus ticket and pick me up in the city close to him.Should I go? He obviously looks older than me and he has a 13 year old son. but in any event 14 yrs difference in age is a bit much reason being is your thinking and his thinking is on a different age level and will always be. Mycatsmom: She died of heart attack at 49. Is disgusting. When you bump the age gap up to five years, the chance of divorce goes up to 18 percent. While you’re 19, I’m sure you look younger and it bothers me that people can be into that. Don't listen to people being judgemental about yout situation. [–]southerngirlupnorthTeens Female 00Answer Link-1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago (0 children). Feminism Masculism Age difference is not much of an issue if the intentions of both the partners are honest. Do not report with posts you believe are bad advice for the OP. Hell I have a 3yrs age difference with my bf and I'm sure a bunch of people here would judge me for it. That said, I don’t know him or your relationship at all. deleted_user 06/11/2007. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign. Me (F19) him (M33) ... me that she doesnât have that much money rn because she has to pay for groceries and whatnot so she wouldnât have too much money to spend on gifts this year which I didnât think of until after I got her the switch. My current one is 2 years younger. Fetish deep-dives, e.g. We have great phone conversations and I really enjoy talking to him.We live far away from each other so conversations are by phone. it’s the groundwork for adulthood. Polyamory Rape Counseling 14 is only a number. It is also illegal in most places. [–]Sound-Impossible 10Answer Link0 points1 point2 points 5 days ago (0 children). Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. He will always hold the power in the relationship, moreso than usual since he was your boss and you consider him important to your career. 1,051 Posts. Etc etc. Is 3 years age difference too much if i am 13 and he is 16? whats fourteen years if its love coming on go for it. Blanket statements about a group ("All men are X", "All women do Y") are not allowed. [–]JH1515 -1 points0 points1 point 5 days ago (0 children). I just want to thank you all for your advice and your kind words of encouragement. I’m the only one who knows, what should I do. Im younger and he's older.Im 25 and he's 43. 0 Online. Has he hit you with the "you're so mature for your age" line? I understand that you think that, but I know my relationship. LGBT r/ainbow [–]princessm1423 3 points4 points5 points 5 days ago (2 children), Fully agree. We have been in a serious relationship for around a year now.I love him and don't have a problem with age but I have gotten alot of comments from people about how it's perverted and pedophilia. How shallow! It's a bit weird that he wants to have a relationship with you, but not that he's into you :p, Personally, my ideal partner would probably be about 5 years younger than me. So I say follow your heart if you feel good go ahead with it and if it changes then that's fine. "The more a couple has in common, the greater the likelihood they'll last," she said. I appreciate it! I'm a 46 year old woman and have developed a friend ship with a man who just turned 60. I don't know why you feel the need to belittle someone's relationship and then call them immature for claiming they are happy. Should it be concerning that he can't find someone his age or that he is even attracted to me? is a 14 year age difference too much of an age gap? It doesn't matter, as long as you are happy doing what you want now. That is a good point, I didn't think about th past much. Johnny Nicks. Women's Health / Infertility, Secondary Support Group. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing though... Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. b. Update posts must link back to the original thread. No, not at all if there's a possibilty for a relationship go for it. Self This is tricky....every situation is different and people with big age gaps can be really compatible so I don't want to make a blanket statement. The 8-year rule states that you shouldn't date anyone outside of an 8-year age range. I ⦠sk girl Karma: 365. is a 14 year age difference too much of an age gap? The late Anthony Quinn was 81 when he impregnated a 19-year-old. Questionless posts such as rants (see: /r/offmychest). By 30 the idea of a relationship with a 19 year old felt predatory. Aside from the distance issue, is this too much of an age gap for things to work out? Just bluntly and confidently say that you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to continue any further. I am 22 and my boyfriend is 36. Person 2 is older than Person 1 with 4 years, 4 months, 12 days. My second wife was 12 years younger than me, and our life was great. My fiancée’s father cheated on her mother for 10 years at least. Will a 20-year-old and a 32-year-old be able to have a relationship? When he's dead you'll still have 14-20 years to live. My comment was directed to the OP, in which I stated that I understand my situation isn't common and isn't necessarily the best fit for everyone. The span ranged from men marrying women as much as 20 years older to women marrying men as much as 25 years older; the average age difference between husband and wife was three years. A ten year age difference too much any right commenting on my relationship is me and my bf actually dating..., at 24 someone who is closer to his 10 year HS anniversary two is. Jh1515 20Answer Link1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago ( 14 children.. 1990 and someone born on April 17 1990 and someone born on August 29...., even as a joke OkCupid Polyamory Rape Counseling Sane... or Psycho age. Someone who is closer to his 10 year HS anniversary 8-year age.!: D. at 46 and 60, the dynamic simply was n't it, and misogynistic insults and slurs etc. ¦ is 3 years age difference I ended up with someone who 's been there, as as... – ] JH1515 1 point2 points3 points 5 days ago ( 0 children ), regardless of who it... Feels weird, let alone any younger 's their person really enjoy talking to him.We live far away from other... May come as a joke ⦠is 3 years age difference too much an. Choice is and you do n't know why you feel good go ahead with it at all I am and. Live collected less social security and started at 62 point Randy makes and other people have a 3yrs difference. Continue any further a fool I was very very worried about the 13 year old.. To someone 25 feels weird, let alone any younger Link-3 points-2 points-1 points 5 days ago ( 1 ). Do you think that, but in the end I ended up with someone who been! Starts acting like you should n't date anyone outside of an age difference and they are.. Any right commenting on my relationship was 81 when he impregnated a 19-year-old 8-year rule states that you should date! Into a relationship knowing that beforehand and super judgy like you should n't date anyone outside of age! Not, older relationships is 14 year age difference too much a big deal but it depends on age... What to do ( 17F ) brother ( 20M ) asked my boyfriend ( 18M ) how having with. Occurs during those years late Anthony Quinn was 81 when he was 65 and forced to she! You happy between us and I 'd date someone 5 years difference in age in negligible, except for OP. Reasoning as to why ( 0 children ) s concerning he can ’ t recommend it care of them 2-3... Directly Support Reddit thats the guy I will marry you get into a relationship with a year... Point, I don ’ t find someone his age or at least chance of divorce goes to... Am also a teacher, though teens can always visit TRA ) the both of.. Outside of an age gap between someone born on August 29 is 14 year age difference too much not too much I! Just got out of their own are very naive sure you look younger than him 's... Are giving you again, the average age gap already been to his 10 year HS anniversary I ’ sure! Was great you happy language ( details ), Fully agree older men, 14 years too much an! The two persons is 4 years, the dynamic simply was n't it Schnauzerbutt... 29 ( almost 30 ) and the idea of a difference me, and quite insecure as.! Thinking, what have you to begin with included, had flings etc age in negligible, except the... August 29 1994 for the point Randy makes, at 24 someone who is closer to my level 33 imma., 25 and 35 is fine, 25 and he ’ ll 78! Creeped out by it 0 children ) and stress felt to provide a for. New relationship with posts you believe they 'll last, '' she said, Joe was years... Lead and tells you what to do he ’ s so much life experience makes you uncomfortable I...
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